How Long Have You Been Together?

11 years!! Really?! That is always the reaction I get when people ask how long DH and I have been together. Well, we met in high school! He moved to my school in 10th grade. I was actually out sick his first day. My sister came home from school, and told me there was a new kid in class and he talked funny..haha. Well, my sister is from Virginia, little did she realize she is the one that had an accent. Anyways, the next day when I went to school, I realized quickly who he was. For one, the high school we went to only had about 10 black kids, and he was HOT!!! :) I truly don't remember how we started talking, but eventually we started writing notes back and forth during class, and if you can believe it I asked HIM on our first date in a note of course :) He wrote back and said "Is J asking W on a date?" and of course I had to say no, that I just wanted him to hang out with my sister and I and a friend. Well, he said yes. He is 9 months younger than I am, so, on our first date, and many dates after I had to drive haha. So, I picked him up from his house, which was awkward, because his Dad was outside mowing the grass, and his Mom peaked out the door, and I didn't even get out of the car!!! I realize now how disrespectful that was, but I was 16, and not saying I was not a good kid, I just didn't think about it at the time...oops. So we went and saw a movie and went bowling. Been together ever since, besides a few "high school break ups" We made it past high school and college, we moved out of state, and after about 9 years, he proposed, on Christmas Eve in 2007 and we married in May 2009! So, its funny now to say that we have only been married for just over a year!!
Now, that we are TTC its kind of annoying when people tell us to wait, that we should enjoy being newlyweds, but really, we have been together for a long time, I don't think we need to wait. My husband always says, what are we waiting for?

Thankful

So, AF came 4 days early!! Nothing like smacking me in the face and telling me "hey, your not pregnant dummy, all those "symptoms" were all in your head!" Which kind of sucks because we are going out of town this weekend, but oh well, I'm still excited to get away for the weekend and see some family!
I have to admit I was so mad last night when I could feel it coming, and very crabby this morning when I went to work. But, between my husband and my friend at work, they made me laugh most of the day, so that kept my mind off of it. I really didn't think my husband understood how frustrated I was about it until this morning. He could obviously tell I wasn't in a good mood, and asked me why I was in such a bad mood, and I said, it doesn't matter you don't understand, and he told me not to assume, that he understands it can get frustrating, and basically told me that I am only 27, I don't have to worry about it, I have a lot of time. Then was being silly all morning trying to make me laugh. All month, I told myself, if I am not pregnant I will need to think of something to tell myself that its not a big deal to not get depressed about it, that didn't happen, but my bad mood only lasted a couple hours. I made an appt with my doctor for my "yearly" appt, so I think that just gives me something to look forward to, so they can tell me if something is wrong or not, which I think will put me at ease a little bit.
I really should be thankful for what I have. My friend told me today that I have so much going for me, that I shouldn't worry about it. I do have a GREAT husband, a good job, a nice home and the best family! I have several trips planned, so I really shouldn't be complaining. I'm going to New York in about 3 weeks, we are going on a cruise in October and we are going away this weekend! I really am thankful for everything I do have, I couldn't ask for a more loving and hilarious husband. I know that he has pulled me out of those times where I just want to sit and watch TV all day and not talk to anybody, and feel sorry for myself. He basically tells me to get my ass up and do something :) Sometimes I get mad at him for sounding so insensitive, but I know its what is best for me.

9 more days....

So, nine more days and I will know if this was a good month. Last night I had some VERY vivid dreams, my friend at work told me that is a sign!!! Trying not to get my hopes up and looking for other signs! That's all for now, nothing much going on.

Anxious...

I wish the next week and a half would just hurry up and go by. I want to get pregnant so badly this month, I know I will just be so disappointed if I'm not. I should be 11 weeks pregnant right now, but instead I am back where I was 12 weeks ago, wondering and waiting. I sit here and think if I would have just been patient and not taken that pregnancy test, and waited those couple extra days, I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant, it would have just been another failed month. Instead, I saw "yes" and got super excited and told my family and a few close friends, if only I would have waited 4 more days. This month I didn't use the OPKs, so I will probably be even more upset if I don't get pregnant. I have been trying so hard to be positive and not think about it, but the closer it gets the harder it is to sit and wait and wonder. I feel like I can't even talk about being disappointed anymore its just a broken record, and all I hear is it will happen or just relax, well I can't relax, when I can't control something I want more than anything and I can't get it. I guess I am one step closer to going back to the doctor after a year of trying, for them to tell me if something is wrong. Deep down I don't feel like there is because I DID get pregnant, but it just gets frustrating month after month.

Baby Registry

What do people usually register for, for a baby shower? We were supposed to go to MI this weekend for a baby shower for DHs cousin, instead we ordered something online and sent it to them. I was in awe of the things they registered for, such as toddler underwear, sippy cups, lotion and oils. I didn't see any bottles or clothes or wipes. At one store they only registered for 14 things. I am not pregnant and have never had to register for a baby shower, but I just feel like there are more important things to register for, or am I completely wrong?
On the baby front, i'm starting to second guess myself about buying OPKs this month, and kind of hoping that this cycle will be similar to the cycle I got pregnant, so I don't have to spend money on them. I only have a day or two to decide what to do!! Lately, I have been yearning to be pregnant so bad, and just wish these next couple weeks will go by fast. Although I feel like I have a better start this time, I have been taking my prenatals for a couple weeks now, where as before I think I started back up during my TWW, and I'm starting to exercise a little. I just don't want to overdue it, and wondering if I should stop exercising during my TWW. I wish I was carefree about TTC, it is not supposed to be so stressful!

I think it's a SIGN

So, after a couple months of TTC I went online and started researching OPKs, and found a website that gave them away free! I think I ordered ten of them probably 3 months ago now, so Friday, I get home and they were in the mail!!! After a week of thinking about going to buy them. Is it a sign?? I think I will still have to go buy some because they only sent me about 4 AND a pregnancy test!

This weekend I also bought P90x off craigslist, I want to be a little more in shape. I am not overweight, I just want to tone up and be able to walk up our 3 flights of stairs without being out of breath!
Lastly, yesterday I saw tomatoes on my plant!!! They are little baby tomatoes! So sad the things I get excited about!
Hope everybody had a good weekend!

Its Time..

I've been busy the last week or so, work has been crazy and we had company this weekend! I've feel like I have been negative lately, the other day, I said to myself, why is it that crackheads and alcoholics can have healthy babies and people that are trying and so excited to have babies have miscarriages? But then I tried to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and not to think about it like that.
AF came pretty quick this month, its only been 3 weeks since my miscarriage. I guess that just means I get to start TTC a little earlier! I've been debating if I should use the OPKs again this month, I used it the month I got pregnant. I feel like now I know I can get pregnant, and maybe I don't need to use it, but on the other hand if I don't get pregnant I'd be mad at myself for not using it. I'm sure i'll cave and buy it in the next couple days, I just don't want to obsess about it.
On another note, my tomato and cucumbers are starting to grow, the tomatos should be coming in soon!! I'm so excited for my little garden!