Sisters...

Between blogs I'm reading and the book I'm reading there has been a lot of talk about sisters. So I thought I would talk about sisters and my relationship with my sister. I just got done reading a book called In Her Shoes. In the book the characters are sisters and they go through normal sister things such as arguments over one stealing the others shoes and men, but at the end of course they come together and really appreciate each other. Of course I cried at the end. My sister is "technically" my step sister, but I don't really like the word step, so I always call her my sister, and then when people ask how old she is and I tell them they ask if we are twins, because we are the same age. "No, I just don't like to say step" I think for step sisters we have a GREAT relationship. We met when we were 12 and have basically been best friends since.

I can't imagine my life without my sister. It doesn't matter if we talk or email every other day or once every two weeks we always know that the other one is there if we need something. I feel like we became closer after she had her daughter. I remember the day that she called to tell me I was going to be an Aunt, I just started crying, I was so happy for her, and couldn't wait to be an Aunt again. I can't explain it, but in a way I felt like we grew closer. I wish we lived closer so that we could hang out more and spend more time with each other, I love to go home and stay with her and we can just sit and talk and drink coffee like I never left. I know when I told her I was pregnant, she was just excited for me as I was, and when I had my miscarriage she just didn't know what to say. But she called to check on me everyday to make sure I was doing OK. I know she will be here when I am finally blessed with a child to show me the ropes!

What I'm Doing

I've been trying to keep myself busy the last week or so. I started a little container garden on my deck, and am getting really excited to see the little sprouts come up. I planted cucumber seeds as well as flowers and a tomato plant, we shall see what comes of it! I've started back at the gym, and am thinking about buying the P90x home work-out, I need something to tell me what to do because I'm getting really bored at the gym.

With the long weekend coming, I wish I could go back to Michigan to see my family, but half of them will be out of town, and it would probably be too quick of a trip! Its times like these that I wish I lived closer to home. Although it was my choice to move away and it has been great, I am ready to be closer to all of my family, especially since we want to start a family. I want my kids to know their grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Plus, I want to see my nieces and nephews grow up!

Otherwise patiently waiting for next month to start TTC again...

What Now

So I have obviously been thinking about what happened last week, and although it hurts and not something anybody wants to go through, I do want to say that I'm glad that it was very early. Obviously I'm not glad it happened but just thankful that I didn't hear the heartbeat already or have it really sink in. There are people out there that have gone through much worse. After my month break we'll give it a go again. It is just so crazy to me how common it is, its not something women really speak about, but I feel like it might help others that are going through the same thing and not feel alone. I had so many unanswered questions, and the doctor just said its the luck of the draw. I know that they probably see this all the time, but the doctor I saw really wasn't sensitive about it and basically told me she was trying to rush through it because I was being squeezed in her schedule.

I am really just trying to tell myself that it happened for a reason, and try to stay positive when I can start to try to conceive again.

One week today

So, this time last week, I was very excited to tell friends and family that I had finally received a positive test. Today, as I sit at work, I feel numb. On Friday morning around 4am, I started bleeding, went to the doctor and found out that I had lost the baby. 4 days after all the excitement it was gone. Since this was my first pregnancy, I was very excited to tell everybody, but maybe I was a little naive and thought that it wouldn't happen to me. I do know next time, that I will wait a couple weeks before telling anybody. I always thought that it wouldn't happen to me, but I was wrong.

The Reveal!

On Monday May 10th, we found out that I was pregnant!!!! I was a couple days late, and I had been pretty normal the last 4 or 5 months, but I didn't want to take the test too early. I told W on Saturday morning that I was late and that I was going to either take a test on Sunday or Monday, but just didn't want to get my hopes up! I didn't do it on Sunday because if it was negative I didn't want to be upset, it was Mothers Day! SO I couldn't take it anymore, I took it first thing Monday morning!

I set down the test between W and I, and he moved it over to his side of the sink. We were brushing our teeth getting ready to go to work, after what seemed like forever I saw him look over at it, and then look over at it again, I asked him if it had the result and he said no, but I kept asking him..finally I took a look on my own and saw the YES!!



I of course started jumping up and down because we had been trying for 8 months, and although it doesn't compare to a lot of people it felt like forever!! W might have shed a tear! I had to tell somebody, so I called my Mom as soon as I got into the car on my way to work. Then during lunch time I had to tell my sister!! But told her she couldn't go to see our parents because I knew she would tell them.

Then today, W told his parents and his sister and my sister helped me tell my Dad and step mom!!!! The were all so excited!!

I haven't had many symptoms, just headaches and I'm hungry and tired, although I haven't been able to sleep since I knew I was late, and having to wait a day to tell some people!! Hopefully I'll get some rest tonight now that the secret is out!

And the journey begins!