9 more days....

So, nine more days and I will know if this was a good month. Last night I had some VERY vivid dreams, my friend at work told me that is a sign!!! Trying not to get my hopes up and looking for other signs! That's all for now, nothing much going on.

Anxious...

I wish the next week and a half would just hurry up and go by. I want to get pregnant so badly this month, I know I will just be so disappointed if I'm not. I should be 11 weeks pregnant right now, but instead I am back where I was 12 weeks ago, wondering and waiting. I sit here and think if I would have just been patient and not taken that pregnancy test, and waited those couple extra days, I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant, it would have just been another failed month. Instead, I saw "yes" and got super excited and told my family and a few close friends, if only I would have waited 4 more days. This month I didn't use the OPKs, so I will probably be even more upset if I don't get pregnant. I have been trying so hard to be positive and not think about it, but the closer it gets the harder it is to sit and wait and wonder. I feel like I can't even talk about being disappointed anymore its just a broken record, and all I hear is it will happen or just relax, well I can't relax, when I can't control something I want more than anything and I can't get it. I guess I am one step closer to going back to the doctor after a year of trying, for them to tell me if something is wrong. Deep down I don't feel like there is because I DID get pregnant, but it just gets frustrating month after month.

Baby Registry

What do people usually register for, for a baby shower? We were supposed to go to MI this weekend for a baby shower for DHs cousin, instead we ordered something online and sent it to them. I was in awe of the things they registered for, such as toddler underwear, sippy cups, lotion and oils. I didn't see any bottles or clothes or wipes. At one store they only registered for 14 things. I am not pregnant and have never had to register for a baby shower, but I just feel like there are more important things to register for, or am I completely wrong?
On the baby front, i'm starting to second guess myself about buying OPKs this month, and kind of hoping that this cycle will be similar to the cycle I got pregnant, so I don't have to spend money on them. I only have a day or two to decide what to do!! Lately, I have been yearning to be pregnant so bad, and just wish these next couple weeks will go by fast. Although I feel like I have a better start this time, I have been taking my prenatals for a couple weeks now, where as before I think I started back up during my TWW, and I'm starting to exercise a little. I just don't want to overdue it, and wondering if I should stop exercising during my TWW. I wish I was carefree about TTC, it is not supposed to be so stressful!

I think it's a SIGN

So, after a couple months of TTC I went online and started researching OPKs, and found a website that gave them away free! I think I ordered ten of them probably 3 months ago now, so Friday, I get home and they were in the mail!!! After a week of thinking about going to buy them. Is it a sign?? I think I will still have to go buy some because they only sent me about 4 AND a pregnancy test!

This weekend I also bought P90x off craigslist, I want to be a little more in shape. I am not overweight, I just want to tone up and be able to walk up our 3 flights of stairs without being out of breath!
Lastly, yesterday I saw tomatoes on my plant!!! They are little baby tomatoes! So sad the things I get excited about!
Hope everybody had a good weekend!

Its Time..

I've been busy the last week or so, work has been crazy and we had company this weekend! I've feel like I have been negative lately, the other day, I said to myself, why is it that crackheads and alcoholics can have healthy babies and people that are trying and so excited to have babies have miscarriages? But then I tried to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and not to think about it like that.
AF came pretty quick this month, its only been 3 weeks since my miscarriage. I guess that just means I get to start TTC a little earlier! I've been debating if I should use the OPKs again this month, I used it the month I got pregnant. I feel like now I know I can get pregnant, and maybe I don't need to use it, but on the other hand if I don't get pregnant I'd be mad at myself for not using it. I'm sure i'll cave and buy it in the next couple days, I just don't want to obsess about it.
On another note, my tomato and cucumbers are starting to grow, the tomatos should be coming in soon!! I'm so excited for my little garden!